Nothing in your home you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.
We planned to take the bus into town as a family and have a meal out. That ended after forty minutes waiting for no bus to arrive as the weather deteriorated. Got back and ordered delivery, put Alistair to bed and had some soup while we waited for the takeout. But after having the soup the (good quality, a place we like) fast food seemed so sickly rich and uninteresting. This was the leek and potato soup again. I’ve fallen in love with our boring simple dinners.
We want to believe. We still do, but it was pretty crushing to put ourselves out like this for the first time and be met with such disappointing outcomes. I’m reminded how hard it is to do anything against the grain. The whole fabric of society turns us to our cars, our online shopping, our disposable goods, our unethical practices. Only moreso as costs go up. I desperately want to counteract this. But our capacity is so limited.
Even our gardening will be complicit in this. The soil is depleted and will require compost and blood and bone. We will have to buy in to the monetised hobby of gardening to make up for the generational lack. I don’t want this, but I don’t yet have the capacity to do otherwise. I must live in hope of what I cannot see.