I love my food so much.
Astonishing. Didn’t look at the computer for an hour before bed and had the best sleep in weeks. Somehow I thought I was the exception. Enjoyed reading a book in the fading evening light, slowly shutting down with the evening. I will try to hold onto this precious mundane revelation
Planned meals, kept it super simple, but might still go back and re-plan meals to be even simpler. Dishes are a terrible time suck. Found some cast-iron saucepans in a box on the side of the road. Really nice to cook in, once cleaned up. The colour of a grapefruit (?).
At one point in the morning I resolved to pray, earnestly, and Fenn immediately woke up. I caught, for the first time, a thought that I realise I’ve believed unconsciously for a while now: that I can’t pray while settling a baby. But prayer, Christian prayer, is not synonymous with meditation - it requires no presence of mind or calmness of being. I can call upon God at any inconvenient moment, and I know it would be for my benefit if I did more often. This was a second small, familiar revelation of the day. My brother interrogates himself on his journal with questions each day. This constructive critical focus is really good and I want to do it more.